1/4C

I turned 25 a week ago tomorrow. I would not say that it was a highly memorable birthday but I do have to admit that it was well representative of the state I am in now. It was quiet, a bit awkward and left me with a feeling of wanting to change. I am not unhappy or sad about the whole thing not being a huge celebration, there will be a time and place for those big celebrations. I feel good not being affected by it actually. I am taking more and more comfort in my detachment from where I am physically and who I spend my time with. Albeit, it is a bit lonely at times, but that is just a price to pay.

One cool thing that I did do was go to a Thai temple to get blessed. It was a relief, like a weight off my shoulder. At first I did not know how I felt after the blessing but the more I think about it, that visit to the temple really made my day. It made my birthday so much better than what it would have been had I not gone. During the blessing, I thought about all the positive things in my life and all the wishes, dreams and wants that I had. It felt really good because while I did, the monk prayed for all the negativities in my life to be swept away. I am not sure exactly why it feels good to have some spiritual backing or cleansing, I guess it reduces the whole ‘I am alone in this Universe’ feeling.

The thing about taking the Buddhist approach is that it is more inner development and inner strength focused as opposed to an external deity. I was raised Catholic and I find that being blessed by a monk is so much more relieving and revitalizing than confession is. I won’t delve further into that.

In any case, the universe seems to be unfolding the way it should be for me. The sequence of events taking place isn’t exactly great but I’m learning a lot about myself and where I want to go.